Mitch Hedberg quote generator ›

sofapizza:

robotindisguise:

Hey man, I went to the Home Depot, y’know, the other day… which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot. Which is just a big warehouse with people standing around saying, “Hey, we ain’t gotta fix shit!”

oh you know i definitely just bookmarked this ish. “I opened up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, “Please Try Again” because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong, or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. “C’mon, Mitchell, don’t give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.”“

Aw man, I love(d) Mitch’s comedy.

1 year ago on June 19, 2010 at 01:42pm
31 notes
via robotindisguise
  1. slutty2shoes reblogged this from pralinesanddick and added:
    Home Depot, y’know, the other day… which...unnecessary. I need to go
  2. sendmelies reblogged this from dangerthepirate and added:
    I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number. Something that’s easy to remember. Something like, 222-2222....
  3. dangerthepirate reblogged this from robotindisguise and added:
    refreshed several times and read all of them in his voice…
  4. lukariot reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
  5. therealtaryn reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    “I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I’d taken all my tests at a restaurant because the customer is always right.” so...
  6. knightsofidledays reblogged this from robotindisguise
  7. oldblueeyes reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    Aw man, I love(d) Mitch’s comedy.
  8. chelseapeartown reblogged this from bettywhitesmuffin and added:
    I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut, man. I’ll just...
  9. bettywhitesmuffin reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    i love him so much. ”Look at the all limes in this God Damn thing… this fuckin’ thing is tropical. Look at the limes how...
  10. mathewsmith reblogged this from robotindisguise and added:
    “The depressing thing about tennis is no matter how good...get, I’ll never be as good as a...
  11. elihzbah reblogged this from sofapizza
  12. lookbackwithwonder reblogged this from pralinesanddick and added:
    I’m at a hotel room and my friend comes over and he says, “Can I use the phone?” I said, “Certainly.” He said, “Do I...
  13. ukulady reblogged this from sofapizza
  14. iamapowerpuffidiot reblogged this from sofapizza
  15. thefrogman said: I miss him a lot. I remember seeing his first appearance on Letterman and did my best to follow him ever since.
  16. pralinesanddick reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    I have a cheese shredder at home, that’s a positive name for a cheese shredder. They don’t call it by its negative name,...
  17. lolliderella reblogged this from sofapizza and added:
    “I used to have really long hair. People thought I was high on stage, because people long hair associate with drug use....
  18. sofapizza reblogged this from robotindisguise and added:
    oh you know i definitely just bookmarked this ish. “I opened up a yogurt, underneath...lid...
  19. izzyb412 reblogged this from robotindisguise
  20. romantictights reblogged this from robotindisguise
  21. pizzacrusts reblogged this from nothing-relevant-happens-here
  22. missmegs said: YESSSSSS!
  23. lonelywritergirl reblogged this from brostephh and added:
    This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it’s dirty. omg. so relevant.
  24. brostephh reblogged this from robotindisguise and added:
    I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m...going to ask them where they’re goin’ and hook...
  25. robotindisguise posted this